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Posted: 2014-12-10
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

An update update. An update on the update.

Sup goats?

A lot of you have been asking if we're going to add more maps and goats to the mobile version (iOS and Android) of Goat Simulator. The answer is: of course we are! Our mobile team has been working on adding Goat City Bay and a ton of new goats to the iOS and Android version. It's just that it takes a really long time since we need to basically rebuild everything from scratch for it to even work on the mobile version. So it's not just to "put another map on mobile", it's months of optimizing, building and testing in a cycle that takes a really long time.

However, things are moving forward! We're hoping to be done with the patch somewhere around late January 2015. So that'll be in about a month and a half from now on. Now before you absolutely shit yourself, print out this blogpost and pray to it until late January 2015, know that we might move forward the release date in case there are crashbugs in the new map (since you guys always give us 1-star reviews if the app crashes)

It's going to be awesome, goats! The update will bring a lot of the cool stuff that patch 1.1 brought to the PC version, but it might differ on some parts too. You'll just have to wait and see =D

The xbox port is still in the works but it'll take some more time. We'll let you know as soon as we have a release date.

Hugs from your friendly neighbourhood goat,
Armin Ibrisagic
Game Designer & PR Manager
@Arminposts

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Posted: 2014-11-27
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Hi everyone!

Coffee Stain Studios is a part of Humble Bundle's Games Against Ebola!

We are developing a game during a 3-day gamejam, which will be part of a bundle where you get to pay what you want, and the profits will go to charity. The game will be a hospital/healing themed game.

But that's not all, we will also be livestreaming the entire development process on Twitch every day from 9 am till 5 pm GMT. You can watch us livestream right here: http://www.twitch.tv/coffeestainstudiosdevs

Here's an appetizer of what you can expect:

Yeah, it's that weird.

On top of THAT, we will ALSO have a completely public design document for our game, meaning that anyone can read it, comment, and give suggestions to us. We haven't even decided on a name for the game yet, so please help us! This is the actual design document that we'll use for developing the game. You can find it here: https://docs.google.com/a/coffeestainstudios.com/document/d/1L9PB8BinCSS-RKP0riG1WwD722YtCTQjBfimsXWawQ8/

 

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Posted: 2014-11-18
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Hello goat fans!

As you might have heard, Goat Simulator is receiving a new completely free expansion titled Goat MMO Simulator.

We've had a lot of questions about the different types of classes and what they do. Here's a whole bunch of screenshots of the class selection screen, so you can read up before you jump into the game!

First off is the Tank, the obvious class for everyone who reads Nietzsche and plays quarterback on the school's varsity team.

The Rouge is the stealthiest make-up artist in the world.

The Magician can perform all sorts of card tricks and sleight-of-hand illusions.

The Hunter is an obvious choice for all you people who insist on wearing lightweight hiking boots all year around what the hell is wrong with you people

 

 

h̷̄ͨ̓ͣ͂ͪͫ̒̅͒́̕͏̯̥̺͈̩̠͕͍͎͈̪̟e̢̺̮̙̠̳̱̓ͦ̀̅̋͡ ̛̖̲̥̫̼͙͕͎̯͙̹͉͖͉͍̻̥͂͋́ͭ͋͒̾̏͛ͧ̃̂ͨ͑̎ͦ̃̐ͤ̀a̴̴̰̳̼̹̝̟̗͕̳̲͖ͤ͊̒̃ͭ̓ͬ̀̿ͦͫ̀̿̋̍͛ͬ̏͝ļ̸̵̭̠̱͕̻̻̞̦̳̫͂̑̽̈́̓̀ͦ̎̑ͯ̓ͨ͜͠oͤ̂͛ͫͥ̍͌͌͢҉̳̝̞̜̥̱̟̫̝n̵̡̧̜̹͇̖͎̫̞̾̂̉͗̒̐̋͘͢e̶̠̟̹̻͔͉̝͎̼͈͌̓̑ͧ̋̆̽ͮ͊́͌̌ͨ̐̒́͟ ̸̡ͨͯ̄̽̒̀̓ͯ̀ͯ̉̉̈́̾͢҉̡̟̪̫͔͔ị̴̡̯̙̫̬͖̖̪͖̣̐͊̆͗ͧͭͣ͑̂͘n̵̷̡͖̻͓̥̠̮̤͙̬̫̤̱̹̙̙ͭ̾̎͋̈́͌ͩ̅͆̏͐ͧͦ͌ͥͤ̚̕͢ ̵̎͆̎̃͐ͭ͐̾ͭ͋̈́̽ͭ͂̏̏ͤ̂́͏̤̰̭̞̻̬̣̩̜̠̗͕͘ͅt̵̶͆ͬ̌̊ͨ̈́́̋ͣ҉҉̗̰̻͇̮h̶́̌̄ͭ̀͡͏̨͓̞͎̟̪̰̖̝̘̯̺͕ě̿̓̋̐̊͒́̂̋ͦͪ͌̋͘͘͘͞҉̫̭̞̻ ̶̨̨͔͖͖͚͔͕̜̹̺̹̻̠̹͎̫̖̓ͩͮͫͪͪ̾͗̂͝͞ͅd̶͖̬̣̬͒̇̾ͬ̉ͩͦ̃ͬͮ̑̌̓̾͜a̵̳͓̮̖͈̣͓̺̱̙͈̼͗̉̄ͪ̄ͩ̃̄ͥ̋̀r̽͋̔ͩ̉͜҉̗͈͙͎̭͖̜̺̭̥̰̩̗̯̣͔̙̹́͞k̴̪͕̟͙̪̞͕̥͉͎͙͎̲̾ͩ̈́̋ͩ̌͟͜͝ṅ̴̵̤͔͚͔͎͙̣̝̤̼͓̜̘̗̳̦̜̰̼ͦ̉̽͋ͫͤ̀̀̚͡e̸̜̝͔̞͈̗͍̜ͤ̃ͭ̑̏͆͌̓̍͂͌̏̚͠ͅş̛͇̺͔̙͙͇̜̮̫͙͖͈̏̑͂̏͊͐́̽ͧͯ̀͜s̫̫̫͖̝̗̻̥̩̬̪̆̀͆̐̌͆ͥ̕͜ ̤̗͔̝̦͙͈̫͐̇ͧͫͫ̃̽́͘ͅw̛̗̳̜͕̩̹̜̙̩̱͖̠̳̦̣͂̆ͨ̀̋ͥͩ̕͟ä̧̞̫͚̖̘͕͓̳̣͔͉̲̎̽̃̅́ͪ̊͌̉͡i̢̧̮̤̯̠̮͕͙̬̯͇͇͉̹͐̏̿ͮͦ͒̕͞ṫ̢̛̤̠̗̤̻͎̗̬̺̎͗ͯ̈̃ͦͨ͋̄ͫ̿͂̒̌̍̐ͮͨ́͢͢ͅi̿ͥ̔ͩ̆ͯͤ̅͑ͣͥͯ̓͐̊͏̧̰̺̜̞͉̞̝͚̯͎̫̥̳͢n̸̋́ͨ̄ͯͭͥ҉̢͉̦͍̦̖̩͓̥̱͢͞g̤̳̻͓̱̮̺̻ͪ͛̏̈ͮ̌̔̋̄̉ͮ̎̆͌̿ͬ͒͐́͟,̵̷̨̛̖̬̫͔̤̭̤͎̰̺̹̺̦͈͕̮͙̫̺̑̂ͧ̏̿̇ͤ̉̄̅̋ͧ̅͠ ̡̯̲̯̐̈́̆ͦ̽͒̆̌ͮ̅ͤ̑͌ͤ̈̿ͭ̈́̓̕͞͞b̸̸̰̪̲̲͓̤̭̜̬̱͎̘̮̰̝̜͇͂ͣͣ̈̋̿ͤ͆̈́͝r̷̾ͭ̄͗̂ͭ̈́̂͟͜͏̩͙͉̩̝̘̙̦̭͓͙̟̲̮͉͇ͅͅo̻͈̻̖̘͍͔̼̜̖̲͍̩͇̰̱̜̓͊̋ͮͨ̒͌ͬͤ͋̾ͭͫ̂͋͛̈́̕͝ͅo͊ͬͭ̈͒ͥ̑̆ͭ̽̀̚҉̧̳̳̤͈͍̱̫̘͚̲͚̰͔͓͉͈͚̘͠ḑ̶̪̝͈̩̺̻̣̞̯̼̦͕͔̥ͦ̾ͦ͊͂ͨ̾̓͌̋̋͆̔̈́̚͟͝i͐ͯͤ̋͊̄̆͛̾̈́ͧ̚͘͟҉̻̘̥̠̤̙n̨̧͈̭͖͓̻͈̩̩̪̼̻͎̠͙͍̦͑̌̿ͦͪ̔ͮͮ̽͐͑̑̐͐̈ͤ̾́͟g̶̜̻͚̼͔̤̦̪̞̳͓̲̍͊͒͆̄̈̒͞
̧̨̈̎̄̏̐̄ͤ̋̽͋̃͛̈́̌ͩ̃́͏̨͉̯͇̟ͅ

 

 

Also, I'm going to have to explain the "no class" goat a bit. This wasn't originally intended to be in the game, we just had a "neutral" goat that didn't have any abilities during development, but were planning on removing it once the game was released. However, everyone keeps saying that Goat MMO Simulator has 6 classes and that one of them is "no class", so it looks like we're going to have to keep this goat in the game anyway. The text was placeholder too, but I suppose we'll keep that as well. Enjoy the sixth class in Goat MMO Simulator!

 

That's all for this week folks!

Kisses and bleats,
Armin Ibrisagic
Game Designer & PR Manager,
@arminposts

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Posted: 2014-10-24
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

So we've finally set a launch date for the biggest free expansion we've made so far for Goat Simulator. Patch 1.2 will hit Steam in about a month! We're still keeping all the details secret though, since we really want you to shit your pants once you see the trailer. This is going to be the biggest and craziest thing we've done so far. We can't even hype this up enough!

Set your calendars to ROUGLY A MONTH!

Posted: 2014-09-22
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Goat Simulator iOS and Android - Some more info!

So we just recently launched Goat Simulator on iOS and Android! If you haven't found it yet, here are the links:

iOS
Android

We just checked our sales numbers and it looks like we have passed 100 000 sales in total on iOS and Android already! INSANE!

It feels really amazing that so many people like our game! We're also really happy that we can now reach out to even more goat fans, and that people without a computer can now also enjoy the life of being a goat!

We've had a lot of questions about the mobile versions of Goat Simulator, such as if and when new updates are coming, if we're going to add support to new devices, and so on. While we realize you might be super curious of our future plans, the truth is actually that we don't plan much ahead at all. Right now our mobile team is just focused on eliminating the crash bugs and making the game run more smoothly, but after a couple of weeks we'll see how it goes! Hopefully we'll be able to give you more information then.

If your game is crashing on Android, check out this thread

Also, for our beloved Steam users, don't worry - our Steam team is still very much working on Patch 1.2, which will be the biggest and most awesome expansion yet. There is no way we can hype this enough. You'll know more when the time comes!

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Posted: 2014-08-18
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Greetings, coffee beans!

So the last few months have been quite hectic at the office. We're very happy to have so many goat fans, and the purpose of this blogpost will be to inform our fans of what is currently going on at our office so that you guys can plan your lives accordingly.

FUTURE PLANS:

Goat Simulator iOS and Android

AND YOU GUYS SAID WE WOULDN'T GET IT RUNNING! =DDDD

Okay, sorry about that. Let's start over:

The Goat Simulator port for iOS and Android was announced recently at GDC Europe and the game actually runs pretty smooth. There's a hands-on video by Pocketgamer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq56s0bKYxE

Q: WHEN?!

A: We don't work with deadlines at Goat Simulator, we don't have a production schedule and we don't have a big publisher telling us to "release fast, or else!". The good part about this is that we're not going to release the game until we feel it's truly worthy of the name Goat Simulator. With that said, things are running pretty smoothly so far and we don't see the game taking a super-long time to finish. So our answer to the question is: Pretty soon/moderately soon.

Goat Simulator on Xbox

A couple of months ago we got to know a studio named Double Eleven, who will be doing the port. They are totally pros on this kind of stuff, so they'll be able to bring it to Xbox faster and more stable than we ever could.  We seriously can't wait until even more people can be goats.

Q: WHEN?!

A: We don't know, the port was just recently started. With that said, it shouldn't be a problem, but it will still take longer time than the iOS and Android port.

Q: Will this ruin the PC version?

A: Not at all, one of the main reasons we outsourced the port was because we wanted our studio to be able to focus on the PC version while someone else did the porting job. The Xbox port will be developed seperately and optimized to Xbox, while the PC version of the game will continue to get awesome free updates. We've always felt that our fans are what has kept our studio afloat, so we definitely want to make the choice that's best for them, which brings us to our next point:

PATCH 1.2!

As we've mentioned previously, we're super happy that Goat Simulator has become so popular, it's really something that we never expected to happen while we were developing it at our office. Right after release, we felt like would be crazy for us to just sell a shit ton of copies and then move on to something else, so we decided to do a free expansion and patch it into the game - that was patch 1.1. But we feel like we haven't given back just enough yet, and we also think that Goat Simulator is incredibly fun to work at, so we're going to make another completely free content expansion and fund the development ourselves. We present to you: Patch 1.2!

Q: WHAT WILL BE IN IT?! ALSO WHEN?!

A: We actually want to keep this super secret. We usually think keeping secrets from fans is lame, but trust us, this is just gonna be way funnier if you guys are in on the surprise. We thought patch 1.1 was fun, but for our next expansion, we don't want to just add another maps with some more goats. We want to make the next patch  way cooler than anything we've ever done before. We want to surprise people just as much with patch 1.2 as we did when we released the first Goat Simulator alpha video back in February 2014.

So we can't tell you what it is, but what we can tell you is that once it's out, it's going to be AWESOME.

If you have any more questions, you're welcome to ask either in the comments, or over here: http://www.ask.fm/Arminposts

 

Best, 
Armin Ibrisagic,
Game Designer & PR weirdo
Coffee Stain Studios
@Arminposts

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Posted: 2014-06-17
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Donate money to charity, recieve Goat Simulator and Escape Goat 2.

 

We're so glad to finally announce our charity campaign! Goat Simulator has teamed up with Escape Goat 2 and the charity organization Heifer International to give free Steam keys of both games to anyone who donates money to charity at their website: http://hefr.in/GamesForGoats

Heifer is the charity organization that helps poor people by sending them real life goats (lol no seriously, they do). Sending a poor person a goat instead of food is better, because a goat can provide goat milk, wool, transport, honey, cow hides, hygiene products and wristband accessories/theatre tickets.

We even got a quote from Tim Schafer himself:

"Give someone a goat, they'll eat for a week. Make a game about a goat, and they'll eat much more."

Tim Schafer gets it. Do you also get it? Make a donation right here: http://hefr.in/GamesForGoats

 

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Posted: 2014-06-05
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Patch 1.1 notes:

- Added local splitscreen multiplayer 
- Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section 
- The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old 
- Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t. 
- Added more goats 
- Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue. 
- Added more powers 
- Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat 
- Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game 
- Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay 
- Added tons of achievements 
- You can now run along walls 
- You can now run up walls 
- Stand by for Goatfall 
- Changed batteries in our fire alarm 
- The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount. 
- The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount. 
- The Humans have learned how to ride Goats 
- Enjoyed flappy goat 
- You can now buy hats for money 
- This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here 
- Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear 
- Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect. 
- Added VR support 
- Reverted hitbox of flappy goat 
- Made hitbox worse on flappygoat 
- Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game. 
- Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat. 
- Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch 
- Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30 
- Just kidding
- Removed VR support 
- Ultra-realistic water simulation 
- Fire alarm still beeping 
- You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion. 
- Added volume slider in options for NPC speech. 
- Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica. 
- We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects. 
- Updated patch notes. 
- Added a lot of new sound effects. 
- Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here! 
- There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat. 
- Honored Notch 
- Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again. 
- Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us? 
- Patch notes now covers more than an A4. 
- Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down 
- Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes? 
New patch? 
- Patch released today does anyone know what it does 
- Where are the patch notes 
- Fire alarm still beeping 
- Why is the patch so big? 
- Lazy devs. 
- If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload? 
- Is this game worth it? Should I buy? 
- Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks 
- I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___ 
- Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish 
- Plz come back 
- Actually optimized the game a bit 
- What use are ladders when you can run on the walls? 
- I hate water 
- Played a whole lot of Wildstar 
- Volvo pls fix ___. 
- Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
- Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat. 
- Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
- Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye. 
- We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it. 
- Updated our Meta Score to 91/100. 
- Killed PC gaming 
- How long will the patch notes be? 
- Changed batteries in the other fire alarm 
- Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15.

Categories:
Posted: 2014-04-24
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Like we've mentioned before, a lot of our fans have been asking for DLCs for Goat Simulator. However, we figured we'd do a completely free content update and just patch it in instead! Patch 1.1 is coming June 3rd. Here's a rundown of some of the content:

  • New playable map - including some pretty crazy stuff like a ferris wheel you'll be able to overcharge with car batteries. 

(Here's a very early screenshot of the new map to give you the general feel of it!)

  • Local splitscreen multiplayer - You'll be able to play 2-4 players at the same time! The reason we can't add online multiplayer is because of physics synchronization issues across several computers, but we can do splitscreen multiplayer on a single computer. It's gonna be really exciting to see what kind of crazy multiplayer maps modders will make in Steam Workshop!

(here's a picture of our work in progress. Score is still bugged)

  • New achievements - because why not
  • Goat parkour and balancing on your front legs - as seen in this video.
  • You will be able to ride a bike. Hopefully, if we can get it to work. WE GOT IT TO WORK

we have bikes now

  • More optimization - so more goats can play Goat Simulator
  • New playable goats - Including Tornado Goat, Shopping Goat, and Repulsive Goat!

What more would you guys like to see in the future?

Categories:
Posted: 2014-02-13
Posted by:
Armin Ibrisagic

Goat Simulator started out as a small project to help us relax after Sanctum 2 and to train some of our new programmers in the Unreal Engine.

A couple of weeks later we crashed the goat into some props, and suddenly 2.3 million views!

People were proclaiming Goat Simulator as GOTY 2014 and bombarding us with requests to finish the game and release it. Since there obviously was a demand, we naturally wanted people to play the game. With demand for Goat Simulator rising, we started looking at what more we could add to the game, as people’s expectations were high already. In short, Goat Simulator was inspired from skating games made 10-15 years ago. The idea is that, instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. You get points for breaking a window with your head, but if you manage to break it by headbutting a bucket into the window while doing a backflip, you'll get even more points!

As we have the core gameplay nailed down already, we will put some extra time on making the stuff around Goat Simulator work well, such Steam Leaderboards for example. We want tons of different leaderboards where people can compete and show off their gotyness in categories such as total air time, biggest combo, and total goat collision force. We also figured Steam Workshop would be an incredibly awesome tool for Goat Simulator to let people mod in their own levels, both serious levels and crazy ones (some Happy Wheels levels are hilarious!) and since the game is so small, implementing Steam Workshop would take a small fraction of the time it would take to implement it in, say, any of the Sanctum games.

Since I’ve used this blogpost to tell you what Goat Simulator will be all about, I’d also like to add what it won’t be about. We won’t be expanding the game for years and bloating it, we want to keep it small, weird and stupid - that’s why we’re releasing it as early as this spring 2014. Goat Simulator won’t be an enormous open-world adventure like GTA with goats, but if it can make you laugh for an hour then I feel we’ve succeeded.

Thanks for all the support!

@Arminposts

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